Wearing Leopard Skin Ironically
on a nicht that wid freeze the tits aff ye.
Ahm prowlin’ like a sleekit cat in search o’ prey.
Polismen, firemen, any hunk’ll dae…
Ah stride intae the Bow bar,
fit tae knock the spots aff their glaikit faces
wi ma faux fur coat.
“Tart!” wan o’ them shouts, clearly swallied wi booze.
Ah lob him wi my six inch high stiletto shoes.
An then ah get intae a cat fight wi this leggy burd
whae’s up agin me on her haunches
fore ah’ve even said a word.
Ah try tae tell her through the bites an’ scratches,
“Ahm no really a cat, ah wis only daein it fir a laugh.”
And she replies,
“Ye maukit pup, dinnae be sae saft!”